|
|
Saturday, September 7th, 2002
|
- im back
i bought me a computer and now i am back online. its old but it works.
current mood:  sick (9 spills | spell it out)
|
Thursday, July 18th, 2002
|
- I miss you all
All I have to say is that I am sorry for not posting in a while but the damn puter has been broke down for a while now.
UPDATE
I have a new roommate. Too many parties at my house lately. Me not wanting to come home cause i know I wont be able to sleep. They are too loud for my liking. Ryan is starting to realize he's my soul mate. Yeah!!! *cheak to cheak grin* its about damn time. I have sworn off all guys until I see him which should be in august. Now ya know that I am being serious. No nookie for me, me of all people. Sorry I'm still in shock by the fact that it is not going to faze me any to be with out. Woh! oh well. Im in love and after six years im getting to the point where i cant hide it anymore.
anyway back to the update i graduated. bought me a table. I owe my dad $300 we split the price of it. I should be getting my settle ment soon. Ha ha. from my car accident a year and a half ago. lol
i am going to start to build some shelves in my room friday. and other than the fact that im goin crazy( or have just gone back and forth with it) not much else is new.
lots of love
to all friends
smooches
current mood:  frustrated
current music: Silence (I'm at the liberary) shhhh!!! (7 spills | spell it out)
|
Wednesday, May 15th, 2002
|
- I agree fully...........
Test, test?
(spell it out)
|
MARGERITA NIGHT
SATURDAY NIGHT
MY HOUSE AROUND 10ish
byob
will be better than last
(spell it out)
|
Thursday, May 9th, 2002
|
- Everyone have a good day
"Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty and believe in them and try to fallow where they lead."
-Louisa May Alcott
"Write on your hearts that everyday is the best day of the year"
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
current mood:  hopeful (1 spill | spell it out)
|
- Well...........
Not a whole lot is going on right now. I just got off work and I am really bored. I have to wait until 6 o'clock to call my dad because he called me earlier and I was on the other line long distance with my brother tommy. He is all pissed off at me right now cause I don't call him everyday a few times a day. I havent talked to him since Monday. Oh no (sarcasm)But he was all like oh excuse me I didnt mean to interupt your conversation with tommy. At least I know your doing alright cause your friend Ryan called me (who lives in Oklahoma) I heard you talked to him today too.
Whatever!!! Then I called him back a few times and nobody answered. its such bullshit.
On a happier not though I love talking to ryan. He is such a sweetheart. He always brightens my day. For those of you who don't know this (not that many people dont) I have been in love with ryan since I was 13 years old. He has ruined every relationship I have ever been in just because he has my heart. If only some way I could tell him all this. Ha!!! The time will come though. And I think it will be soon. (atleast I hope:) To answer the age old question of why havent i said anything before to him is because he needs to live life before I make my mark.
*drooling* anyway. I hung out with megan the other day. I had fun. we saw my friend Jay. and we saw my friend cody. Now here I am sitting on the broadripple bridge and I have megan feeling on me and Cody feeling on me. I was in a good mood. heh
I swear I had nothing to do with it *devious grin*
Today I went to the liberary and retyped up some of my old wtitings. I only did a few so I hope to do more in the future. I use to write a whole lot. I use to go through an thick pad of loose leaf paper every week. and then I would just throw it all away. However I did keep a few that I thought would be beneficial for the future. and those I still have. I am a poet. I can write about anything. Except my brain goes dead when I get online :) heh
Well gonna go
love to all
smooches
current mood:  curious
current music: Rob Zombie (1 spill | spell it out)
|
Saturday, May 4th, 2002
|
You are Thora
Birch!
You acted in cool movies like:
Ghost World, The Hole, Dungeons & Dragons,
Now and Then and American Beauty.
Take the "Which Hollywood Princess are you?"
quiz @ planetag.de
current mood:  bored (spell it out)
|
Friday, May 3rd, 2002
|
Well I just want to say that the party that I had saturday really sucked. Note to self that I will not invite crimson to another party. I love that girl and all but she is not social enough to be around me and some of my friends. Ya know... So in a few weeks I will be throwing a good party damn it. And I am inviting everyone who wants to have a good time. Not this Saturday, nor the next, most likely the following saturday. yeah
Lady luck has been against me lately cause last week I had two flat tires and this week my brake line gets a whole in it. I havent drove my car in about 3 days. this sucks. and now I am sitting up until 9:00 til the tow truck gets here so I can go with my car to the shop. I hate taking my car to a shop. The fucked up part of it is that I could fix it myself but the line is so rusted that I dont want to do it. I know I am horrible. man and I have to borrow the money from my dad. which sucks big time. something else he can wrap around my neck. though I will pay him back in one week damn it. So he cant keep it in the air with me. asshole!!! me and him were fighting on the phone earlier. Guilt trips from hell and boy does he know how to do it.
Anyway before I contimplate to far into that saga, and wind up upsetting myself I will depart from all of my beautiful readers.
I love you all
smooches
current mood:  tired
current music: garbage (1 spill | spell it out)
|
Saturday, April 27th, 2002
|
Daquiri Night
Saturday Night
Tonight
at my house
around 10ish
feel free to
pitch in
(5 spills | spell it out)
|
Wednesday, April 17th, 2002
|
- ummm.... yup
You are Yourself!
Gay, straight. These words mean very little to you. You are yourself and that's all you need to know. You fall in love with the same gender, but you believe that isn't all there is to you. Your lack of "traditional" gay pride is interpreted by many queers as internal homophobia, but in truth you just want to be your true self. Not just gay.
| </td>
Take the what kind of fag are you quiz by  PsychosisX!
current mood: bored
current music: none (spell it out)
|
Thursday, April 11th, 2002
|
- Te He
Online BULLSHIT fucktard tests!
how good are you in bed?
put this in your lj mutha fucka!
Take the Online BULLSHIT fucktard
tests: How good are you in bed
test by dr jo0lie
(spell it out)
|
Tuesday, April 9th, 2002
|
- a slow day
I didn't do much today. I woke up. took a shower. Moved some stuff out of my dads house. ate lunch. moved some stuff up to my room. went to ace hardware. came home. my dad was pulling up as i was pulling up. though I kept him in his car. which was hard, cause we have al sorts of alcohol bottles, ash trays, and ect..... Then I had to go back to ace hardware. came home moved some more stuff upstairs. I put a new door knob on my bedroom door. Yeah!!! I ate dinner. Which was pretty good. I cooked cubed steaks, scalloped potatoes, and corn. yummy :) thats about it. Oh I did talk to gerald today. and he is probably taking my for breakfast thursday. he is a doll. am honest player. but a doll. Im tired. and I still need to do alot of stuff. I need to put my bed togather. and everything else. no joke!!!
well I should go cause I have to go to work soon and I might meet gerald before work.
so see ya
smooches
current mood: tired
current music: type'o'negative (spell it out)
|
Sunday, April 7th, 2002
|
I went to school today, then I broke up with my boyfriend a little while ago. The feeling was mutual. So thats good. Well I am going to go recharge my energies. I was ready to deal with the worst and things went well. So its a good thing
toodles
smooches
current mood:  relieved
current music: radio (2 spills | spell it out)
|
Saturday, April 6th, 2002
|
- Long ass entry
Where to begin?????
Let me just stick to the past two weeks. I've been working my ass off at fedex and goin to school on the weekends. I have had a crush this guy (mr Z) and I haven't known him long enough to make a move on him. Needless to say I get horny. So last week I was seeing this guy named Gerald. A sweet heart. Had a few querks that I could deal with. He works at fedex. He had been taking me out for breakfast after work in return for a massage. So finally I go back to his place and well you know what happened. (big grin) I had lots of fun. Everything was going well cause him and I were not commited therefore if anything ever sparked between me and Mr. Z .... well you know I got it going on. Yeah!!! (daydream daze) Anyway, Friday comes along and I run into an old mortal enemy of mine at the gas station while I was on my way to work. I was going in early to see Gerald. I saw my enemy go in and I almost hit him with my car door. hehehe When I was inside I bought a pack of cigs. Well I was being me (a too nice of a person) and I greeted him honorable. Well putting the past behind us we had some chemistry going on that night. It was really weird. So I hung out with him before work instead of seeing Gerald. Well after work I normally go to VP to hang out with some friends. Instead I went to the gas station that he was hanging out in. I just knew he would be there. And I was really curious. Well I get back to the gas station and him was still there. We wound up going to breakfast at Denny's )Me him and his friend). After we sat there for a while. We went back to his place and we wrestled around for a while. I was still weird ed out by the fact so I refused to kiss him. But he did catch my attention cause he had been observing me all night. and was telling me things about who I am and it intreged me. So I went to school Saturday thinking about our conversations all day. So naturally I went back to his house that night. I kept getting these weird vibes from him. Mixed feelings and such. It confused me. So finally I gave in and made out with him. I left his place sunday morning. I skipped school since it was easter and went to dinner with my family. I wound up taking my cousin and my niece out to shoot some pool. then my cousin left and I took my niece out to see my new place and she helped me move some stuff into the house and then i took her over to see this guy. She thought he was alright but things can be decieving. Anyway I dropped her off at my sisters house and I went home. I kept on seeing him all week. During which he kept on asking me out. Damn near pressuring me saying that he wont wait. Finally I said yes which bothered me cause I hadnt seen Gerald to call it off. I saw gerald wedsnday night at work and told him I couldn't lie and said I ran into somebody and things went well with us. He was all like hey baby baby its all cool. maybe we can hook up in the summer time. eh.. Its alright when you get your phone hooked up give me a call maybe we can go for breakfast next week. Being a real sweet heart about it. Wanting to still hang out. So thats over with. :( Ya know I am an honest person soo.... I told my boyfriend what transpired. He cant stand gerald and he doesnt' even know him. Dumbass. My boyfriend has slightly been helping me move in. Which is better that none. Heres my problem. My boyfriend is trying to change for me. Which is bull shit to me. My boyfriend has very violent tendencies and is very arrogant and is extremely vain. Three qualities I can live with out. He will get in a fight with some body if they accidently bumps into him. He will not be like that in front of me. Cause I can be a bitch. He likes to play these word games which can be very irratating. And he told me today that he was going to be more serious next week. He states that he has been letting a lot of things slide with me. What??? He has been making these accuzations about me yet giving me the benafit of the doubt. Like I said word games. He just doesnt realize who he is playing against. Poor thing. He is so fucking full of himself physically and mentally it is pityful. I mean he is alrgith looking but he is not all that. However he does have a nice stomach. anyway, I havent been able to bring myself to be intamite with him cause of all these conflicting vibes I get. I dont want to hurt him cause he is screwed up as it is. But I have this feeling that I wll break up with him in four days. Dont ask I dont know. He treats me well buys me food and ect.. but his problems still exist and I dont want them blowing up in my face in the end. He reminds me too much of my father and thats not good. I moved out to get away from my fahter. I dont need his image by my side. The reason I committed to him is cause for those of you who know me know that i could see his weakness es and I could see him for who he wanted to be. on the inside. and how he was on the inside. but he hides himself so much that i dont want to deal with him. what he percieves himself to be and what he allows others to see is what believes he is. but he has so much potential it bothers me. Ohh my goodness. Oye!!! Anyway I forgot to tell you today i accidental forgot I told sara that I thought MR Z was a fox..... Oops :)
But back to what I was saying my boyfriend is a really great guy he just needs to show it. He needs to have some fun in life. What got me into him was the fact I was hoping for the impossible which was someone who understood me. Which he proved to me today that he doesnt. Nobody has the right to make assume anything about me. Nobody knows me well enough to. And it bothers me that he keeps tring to give me money. As everyone knows I can hold my own in any way that I feel fit. I must apologize right now to people reading this cause all my notebook paper is still packed and I need somerwhere to express myself. Any way I like him for reasons that he cant see. Cause most of my feelings and thoughts come from my subconscience. Thats the way I have always been. Hes growing on me and I need to end it berfore it goes to far. Like i said I have this feeling he will give me a reason to end it in four days. Burrrr is it cold in my house right now. There is one other thing that bugs me and that is the reason that he is happy to be with me. And I dont think that he knows the real reason deep down. But I can sense it. But I am not going to explain that online. Man am I getting tired. I have to go to school in a little while. Yucky!!! I just want to say that I now everything I just wrote sounds like shit but I would nt be with him if I didnt like him. I like him for the reasons people cant see. And I have been hesatating stating those just incase he reads this. because he is so arrogant, but I will anyway. They are: hes compasionate, caring, playful, generous, appreciative, stable, thickheaded, he makes me feel good about me, hes honest with me, hes loyal, warm, tender, well spoken, intellegent, grough, origenal, nice and pleasant and cute. Oh yeah by the way, there was another thing that made me reallize that he didnt know me as well as he thinks he does, the way we are in bed togather, I mean yeah I like to dominate alot but not all the time cause we wont ever get real far if I doninate. Me being a virgin n all.. hehehehehe Oh yeah I love the way he observes me. Trying to learn about me. Anyway off of all that now. I have to go cause I have to go to school today and I am throwing a party tonight around 9:30 ish so I expect you people to come. Just excuse the mess. hehehehehe
I love ya guys
smooches to all
(2 spills | spell it out)
|
Friday, April 5th, 2002
|
- Great News
Party at my house
Saturday night around nineish, Tommarrow night!!! My house isn't great there are boxes everywhere and you have to bring your own booze.
If you want my new address and phone # e-mail me and I will give it to everyone. I wont be home from school til 8 o'clock so don't show up early. K?
And ALI You are probably going to freak out once I tell you who I am seeing. But you better come to my party. Nah!!! :P
I will update everything that has been going on later it will be a long entry but I think it will be worth reading (includes people, sex, violence, location, ect....) I could make it into a story hehehehehehe
smooches
to all
current mood: hopeful
current music: Cool 101.9 (radio) (spell it out)
|
Saturday, March 16th, 2002
|
- This Sucks
Here I am once again, with nothing to do. I am chillin at Sara's house once again. And I am stuck here until 5:00am when I supposeably get home from work. HAHA!!!
I am doin nuttin at tal
I am tired and have to go to school tomarrow. I need something to do to stay awake.
Oh....... by the way I got two new tattoos. Yeah!!! I forgot to state that fact. I am happy about them Yes!!!
Well I will update more some time soon
smooches
to
all
current mood: bored
current music: none (7 spills | spell it out)
|
Friday, March 15th, 2002
|
- Hello
I have the night off and have an excuse out of the house...
I want out.
Can somebody help me?
current mood:  silly
current music: none (spell it out)
|
Thursday, March 14th, 2002
|
- Is there anybody in there
I NEED A PARTY
I will most likely have off this friday!!! Woo hoo and I will most likely have an excuse to be out until 5:00 in the morning.
So if there is anybody out there who would be willing to help me out and have some fucking fun. *pun not nessary* Please I beg of you to comment me or E-mail me
Save me
Perferably one with beautiful men and women. Or just gorgeous hair. I am almost desperate.
Almost!!! Not yet I still have standards
current mood:  grateful
current music: Sara's singing (spell it out)
|
- Somebody help me
I am at Sara's house right now. When I got off work I found her at the gas station. and from there we went here and then peppy's grill then we went to look around at a few houses for rent. Mostly drove through the ghetto. Whatever!!!
Now we are back here waiting to see if some friends are going to show up or not!?! Blah If not then we are going to go look at a few other places.
BLAH Blah
Next entry even better
current mood: tired
current music: none (spell it out)
|
Tuesday, March 12th, 2002
|
- Me myself and I are all crazy
I'm bored out of my wits. I mean yeah sure I lost my sanity a long time ago. but this is crazy. Help me.
I haven't been out in a long time I need to do something. With some friends. All I have done for the past few weeks is gone to work, gone to school, do errands for my family, clean the house, and go to Sara's and do nothing (hang out). That is literally it. for the past 3 weeks. Somebody say me. I havent even shot pool once in a long time. I am goin crazy. Wait, Pause, Redo, I am doin the impossible, gettin even crazier. Last grasp of sanity slippin away. Nooooo!!!....
Well...
current mood: drained
current music: Aerosmith (spell it out)
|
|
|
|